By Peter Lin

Even since I became a believer, my favorite Christian word has been "Grace" meaning "an undeserved favor".  While "grace" continues to top my favorite word chart, this season of Lent (40 days leading to Easter) reminds me of another "favor", an "unwanted one" - one that comes only through pain.

I do not want pain.  No, I dread pain absolutely because I have very low tolerance and when I am suffering I scream.  We all fear pain and yet God said that the path through pain can be a blessing.  During the season of Lent, Jesus went through some of the most painful experiences since the beginning of time.  He even pleaded with the father - if it is possible, let this cup pass away from me.  Yet, pain on the cross, even though unwanted, still became a blessing. The bible uncompromisingly declared that even Christ was perfected through suffering.  If Jesus did not suffer the pains on the cross, he would not have known the glory of the resurrection; today there would not be a family of God; and you and I would never know what "grace" feels like today.  Pain is an unwanted blessing because in some mysterious way, like grace, it is a crucible for growth and glory. 

During this Lent, in early March, I have personally gone through the most physical painful period of my life.  In the following paragraphs, I want to share - the pain that I have gone through, the blessings that was experienced, and the lessons that I have learned.

I.                The Pains:

On Feb 11 of this year, I started taking Septra (a very common antibiotics) for the purpose of clearing a potential prostate infection.  On March 5, I started developing blood blisters all around the linings of my mouth.  Every mouthful of food caused a bloody streak down my tongue and palette and into my esophagus.   On March 6, I was admitted into the hospital carried by an ambulance for a rare (1 in a million) life threatening medical drug allergy called Steven Johnson Syndrome.  The drug was burning my insides.  I was finally discharged on March 17.  

In that short 12 days, I lost 14 pounds.  My body was covered with boils.  For a short few days, I lost my ability to swallow even my own saliva.  My tongue shed its skin and water tasted like stinging acid.  Especially painful was my scrotum area, which was raw and skinless, and every contact with any surface caused temporary bonding to that surface.  The worse part was the eventual separation that felt like a sharp knife cutting through my scrotum (now I know a little bit of what castration must felt like).  As a result, I lost all mobility to avoid the sharp pain. 

The worse times were the nights.  I was thankful for the morphine, which gave me 2 hours of rest.  And then, the strong antibiotic drip started at 1:00 am to 3:00 am.  The drip burned as it entered the vein.  It was a lonely time.  When the pain was severe, it dulled the mind so I could not pray effectively.  My glasses broke on the first night and so I had no mean to read the Word. I was isolated.  The way to pass the dark hours was to swish ice water in my mouth and to split it out every 15 minutes as a mean of refreshment.  This repeated itself from 3 am to sunrise.  Michelle told me later that she found me ragged every morning.  I did not share the experiences of the dark nights with her until the day of my discharge.

2009 LENTEN REFLECTION - SUFFERING AND GLORY (Part II)

2009 LENTEN REFLECTION - SUFFERING AND GLORY (Part III)